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Average Looking Mat

Mat: an affectionate term for a Malay male; not the thing that you step on at the front door.
 

Is it me or have the people and the world around me grown sadder? Is it me or has depression become the world’s fastest growing illness sensation?

I think I have all the right to claim that I am sad and I am depressed…

… at one point of time or another…

At one point of time I was earning wages so pitiful that I should be inducted into the Hall of Shame and Embarrassment. No… job was fine. It was just that compared to most people next to the people who earn nothing, I have a pitiful salary. Even the dole ‘parasites’ (just to emphasise how pitiful I am, no characterisation intended) earn more than I do.

At one point of time my earning was so pitiful that I walked to and from school to home, and I mean not a 5 min leisurely walk, but a 5-10km walk. But if I took the bus I would not have enough money a cup of vending machine coffee let alone lunch. I mean that will probably be fine if I live with my parents. They will probably provide food and transport and a whole lot of other good stuffs.

Yeah I know, it’s not the worst of situations…

Speaking of which, I did, at one point of time had no roof over my head. For about 2 weeks I stayed with Anuar because we hadn’t found a place to stay. Everything’s borrowed. I felt so out of place. His hospitality (god bless his soul) was excellent. Never met such a great host before. But still I was living on borrowed land, it wasn’t even rented. Man, was that depressing… that was very depressing…

Uprooting certainly didn’t help. True I have made friends, good friends they are but not close or best yet. The ones that you can count on when your chips are down. the people whom help you pick yourself up when you have fallen in whichever means possible. The ones that would give you a good roasting yet keeping that tie intact. Nope. None of that…

So, no money, no friends, no family… depression… not quite…

You see, I have never quite felt depressed… cause I never quite see that way… maybe I am depressed but I have just willed myself out of it… not that I have great will power… far from it… but I’ve not dwelled and drowned in it… not yet. Maybe not yet…
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At 3:25 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what doesn't kill u will only make u stronger. once u get outta this depression, u will be become a much better & stronger person. take care. - lauren    



At 10:55 am, Blogger Avloomat said...

wasnt talking about myself... just comparing and citing examples...    



At 1:12 pm, Blogger Avloomat said...

cliched....    



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